Archive | March, 2015

How Facebook helped me to re-enter ‘the world’ after becoming a parent.

30 Mar

Jo on Facebook use

As startling as becoming a parent was – you mean I get to bring the baby home?!? – I was more than happy to say ‘goodbye’ to my old life and completely sink into full-time motherhood. Call it an escape, call it hiding, call it what you will, I was in self-imposed heaven, delighting on finally being able to complain about what I saw as ‘real’ problems like lack of sleep, breastfeeding, child rearing and finding the best highchair money could buy. As parenting goes, I was nailing it. That is until my children became older and I suddenly had to face a grim reality.

They needed me less. And I wasn’t one to sit down and twiddle my thumbs.

Knowing that re-entry is one of the most dangerous parts of space travel, but feeling like the analogy worked quite well for how it felt to be facing a new life post-motherhood, I decided to procrastinate for a while in front of the TV, going as far as to carry my old and dusty laptop onto the coffee table and placing there, front and centre next to my coffee cup, wondering WHERE ON EARTH I would begin.

Then one day, I opened it up.

Like all media-savvy ex-media employees such as myself, I had obligingly set up a Facebook page when it was first in it’s infancy and I’d even posted some incredibly boring information about my food consumption, my moods, my marital status and my thoughts on television shows post Oprah’s retirement, but I’d never really been serious about it. Imagine my surprise when I realised that Facebook had also been fed and nurtured and had grown into a fully-fledged people connector. Without even having to leave the house or brush my hair or fit into my old jeans I could connect with my old life and try and figure out a new one.

All my old people were there, waiting for me.

Me and the kids

Facebook had gotten serious. Was there anything you couldn’t do on it these days? I think not. I scrolled madly down my neglected feed and was told all about grocery delivery services, sleep training techniques (four years too late to help me) and all the information I could want about my friends, family and colleagues and where life had taken them.

I dove right in and before I knew it, I felt…found. Funny that. I hadn’t even realised I was lost.

Facebook became the conduit through which I discovered and designed my new life. Now it has become my constant, my portal through which I send and consume information about everyone and everything, both serious and not so much.

It got me thinking…I know the role Facebook played in my parenting life. It ‘found’ me, it informed me, it fed me and gave me company and gossiped about my friends and work colleagues. Facebook was my friend, family, job agency, news feed, dietician, pediatrician, counselor, confidante…and if had quickly become so important to me, how important a role did it play in the lives of other parents.

photo-5

And for those who became parents well after Facebook found it’s calling to be everything to everyone, how has this shape the role it plays for parents today?

Also, what role does it now play for me?

And that, my friends, is how I arrived at my beloved thesis subject. “What role does Facebook play for parents”, or something like that. Every time I sit down with my thesis supervisor we come up with a million variations. I’m thinking of putting them all into a hat and picking one at random, in order to decide.

My thesis is just the first step. That’s this year. Next year I embark on my PhD which I have been assured will take me WAY LONGER than the allotted three years. It could be four, it could be five. By then, Facebook would have gone through so many rapid-fire changes that it will be a completely different beast? The roles it could be playing for parents by then will be endless.

Have you ever stepped back long enough to examine the reasons behind your Facebook use, the choices you make while using it and the role it fulfills for you, or is Facebook so established these days that to step back and analyse your own use of it is similar to pondering your heart’s ability to beat, or your lung’s ability to breath?

Has Facebook become that ingrained in parenting yet, or is this the future I imagine for it? Over the next four or five years, I plan to explore it in all it’s glory.

I’ll keep you updated on my findings. I’m pretty excited to get stuck in, to be honest.

Let the thesis commence…wish me luck.

x

It’s never too late to change EVERYTHING.

13 Mar

You are in control of your life. You just forgot that you were.

My first university experience was fresh out of high school. I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to be. I had a rough idea in my own head of the kind of path I wanted to take. Also my parents (my dad) had bashed me over the head with his expectation. “You should be a financial journalist”, he would say to me. However something I’ve always been good at is knowing my limitations. I loved high school Commerce and Economics but was in know way smart enough ‘that way’ to write about it everyday.

So my career went something line this:

Grocery store

Toy store

Bar tender/waitress

Radio announcer

Author

Traffic reporter

Journalist

Not too shabby, right?

It wasn’t an easy ride. I could write a book about each and every one. But it’s mostly the transition from traffic reporter to journalist that I want to talk about, that I am asked about and that I am the most proud of.

I was sitting at home a few years ago with a son in school, a toddler and a baby, feeling like my life was over. I felt like my best and most productive career years were way behind me and I didn’t have what it took to be a full time working mum. I have always understood and accepted my limitations and handling stress is not one of my strengths.

So I started dabbling in writing from home. Then I went to Google and started looking at writing courses.

I had always dreamed of going back to university and actually studying my first choice field and my first choice university. For me that was writing at Macquarie University.

Filling out the application form/s was an exercise itself. It felt like a cruel and grueling test which I thankfully endured and I got in. Then I actually managed to do okay at it and graduate.

Now I am back there again studying something new. I have more plans after that.

Here comes the lesson: It’s never to late to completely change your life.

Ever since I posted my graduation photo on Facebook last November I have been inundated with friends and acquaintances asking for advice on pursuing their dreams. I know countless reality TV contestants have said, “Follow your dreams no matter what” but it can be scary, and impractical.

I had to consider my children, my husband’s schedule and sadly, money. I kept fiddling around and snooping around until I found a way to do it that worked for me. There is always a way, if you want it badly enough.

Uni grad

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but have never gotten around to? The great thing about life is that we are in control of it. We aren’t just at the mercy of it. It can be so easy to forget that. I never let my children forget it. I constantly tell them, “You can be anything you want to be” but it wasn’t until I started saying that to myself that I really comprehended it.

Parents, partners, bosses, friends and colleagues can’t control our lives. We can let them control our lives if it suits us. We can listen to opinions and advice, accept jobs and factor in peoples feelings. At the end of the day, however, we have to please ourselves.

We are all running our own race, no matter what our circumstances are. So run it well, or change tracks if you’re not happy.

It is never too late and I am an example that it can be done.

Do you think it’s realistic to change careers later in life? How much should you let family pressure influence your dreams?

%d bloggers like this: