I am not a morning person

6 Dec


I am not a morning person. This morning at 4.50am I was trying to set up my computer for work through a sleepy haze when my husband sang out “Good morning hon” and before I knew what I was saying I said, “Fuck of”. Whoops.

He was so offended but I’m sorry, my brain isn’t awake yet let alone my thought-to-mouth filter. It’s like truth serum. He could have asked me anything I would have accidentally told the truth. This has happened to me once before when I was working in breakfast radio. I’d had a particularly bad sleep the night before and I was sitting at my computer trying to remember where the ‘on’ button was when my perky-that-morning co-host skipped in and asked, “Do you like my new shirt”? I glanced over at his frilly black number and said, “No, I don’t” and then turned back to my computer and got to work.

He didn’t speak to me for almost an hour.

Thankfully my husband is a. forgiving and b. a quick learner because he is now making no attempts and early morning conversation and is giving me a wide berth. Oh wait. He just came in and asked if I’m “feeling any better”. I’m just going to ignore him and keep on typing. Oh good, he’s walked away. I was going to throw something at him. Much easier than explaining that I prefer to be left alone in the morning. He should know this…I’ve been this way for a solid fourteen years that he’s known me!

I have never been a morning person. Even getting up ten minutes earlier than I absolutely have to leaves me feeling groggy all day. I prefer to wake up naturally (at around 7am) but for the next two months my wake up time will be 4.45am. After getting up to the kids seventeen times at night (Mum, I’m thirsty, Mum, I need the toilet, Mum, I’m not covered) I feel a bit like I’m severely jet-lagged and I look a lot like a homeless man.

It doesn’t make sense. I’m not a night person either. If I’m bored I’m happy to go to bed early instead of party all night. But by the time I’ve finished my uni work or any other work I have, picked up all the crackers from off the rug, cleaned up after dinner and gotten the kids asleep, it’s usually quite late.

I’m just trying to take each day as it comes.

The first morning of this dreaded shift my husband kindly asked if I would like him to boil the kettle. I shook my head rudely. I just didn’t have the strength to explain that if I made coffee now it would just sit there untouched because I was too tired to lift the cup and drink it. Plus my stomach didn’t really appreciate anything being placed inside it until at least 6am when I usually become ravenously hungry and needed peanut butter toast and then the coffee to wash the peanut butter off my teeth before I attempt to talk on the phone for work.

It’s a tough life.

I know, I’m grateful to be employed and I wanted this work and in about thirty minutes I’ll be pretty perky myself. But it would be great if those who leap out of bed like jack rabbits (another issue) could bugger off while I try and remember where I am, my name, my age and what I’m meant to be doing this morning.

Must wake up, must wake up (slapping myself).

La Dolce Vita,

Jo Abi

One Response to “I am not a morning person”


  1. It’s never too late to change EVERYTHING. | La Dolce Vita - March 13, 2015

    […] I was sitting at home a few years ago with a son in school, a toddler and a baby, feeling like my life was over. I felt like my best and most productive career years were way behind me and I didn’t have what it took to be a full time working mum. I have always understood and accepted my limitations and handling stress is not one of my strengths. […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: