Christmas blues

14 Dec

No holiday is complete in my family without tension and fighting and this time I am sadly in the middle of it all. My parents are at an age when they want peace and harmony but the older the rest of us get, the more glaring our differences become. We could be speaking a different language when we argue, both feeling like we are hard-done-by and not being listened to. The nasty it gets, the sadder I become but I am coming to the realisation that I can’t fix it anymore and I just have to learn to live with it.

So the question becomes…how do I raise children who are friends as adults?

Kids fight…a lot…but that’s normal, right? They fight over toys, snacks, closing the front door and collecting the mail. It is endless and tiring. My children are aged 7, 3 and 2 so it might be a bit early to worry that they won’t love each other as adults, but it’s always in the back of my mind.

I was speaking to my 7-year-old son about it yesterday. I explained that while it is normal and okay to have the odd disagreement with his brother, sister and cousins the trick is to have the argument and then forget about it and move on. Don’t let it become an arm wrestle over who is right and who is wrong, because human nature is such that we always justify our own actions. Otherwise, how could we live with ourselves?

I love my family and friends a lot and most of them are forgiving of my faults. I just do what I need to do to get through my crazy days and I accept that most people do that too.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year but there is always a lingering sadness and this year is no different. But the effort we all make to be together for my parents is the ultimate act of love and respect and our children don’t notice anything is awry as long as they receive all their presents, with batteries included.

La Dolce Vita – Jo Abi

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