Is it just me? I feel SO DUMB. I am having HUGE problems enrolling in my uni subject this year, in fact every year and it seems that the tediousness of academic websites is true. There are no straight answers to be found. It’s like they make it deliberately hard so if you are smart enough to enroll and determined enough to persevere then and only then are you admitted into the course.
I mean it. This isn’t even funny. I am LOSING SLEEP. Talk about anxiety. And being an ‘external’ student I don’t have a circle of uni friends to laugh about it with. There’s no unwinding at the uni bar for me, no access to anti-anxiety medication or even chocolate bars from a vending machine. Here I am in my pjs ready to smash my computer or just GIVE UP! I can’t even scream or cry or I’ll wake up my peacefully sleeping children who are too young to know about this future torment.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHICH SUBJECTS I NEED TO ENROLL IN AND HOW? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AN ‘INFORMAL PROPOSAL’ IS AND WHY I NEED TO WRITE ONE TO GET INTO A SUBJECT ALREADY BEING OFFERED AND NO WHERE NEAR FULL?????
I am one year into a Masters in Creative Arts specialising in Writing at my dream uni, Macquarie Uni. I love it. I love my fellow students who I talk to at our online forum. I love my lecturers who I’ve been lucky enough to meet on our ‘on campus’ days. I want to study at uni forever. I want to BE my lecturers.
But everything is so tedious, so devoid of compassion, so difficult and everything takes soooooooooooooooooooooo long.
Still, I cannot give up. I spent a year fighting for time to study and write, squeezing into the little pockets of time my kids were distracted by new toys, a couple of hours each night after they’d gone to bed before I started falling asleep myself. It can’t all be for nothing.
Maybe it’s a trap? Maybe if I study the wrong subjects I’ll have to stay for an additional year and then I can use those incorrect subjects I have already completed to count towards a future degree. Is that it? Is it a cult and they are trying to trick me into staying forever?
Look, I just need to step back. Yes the deadline is looming and no, I’m not being offered any help but I can do it. I CAN DO IT.
I just need to approach it like that hideous paper I had to write for Literary Theory which required hours of research. I have to gather the bits of information that do exist and put them all together and figure it out. I’ll give myself a Distinction damn it. I’ll be proud of myself. I might even hold my own special ceremony congratulating myself. Because it’s one of the hardest, most frustrating processes I’ve ever been through.
They will not break me. They will not!
La Dolce Vita,