Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed.
This morning I woke up with the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s like a fog has come over me and I just can’t do what needs to be done because it’s too hard, it’s too much, I’m too tired.
Usually I just drag myself through it. I know the fog will eventually lift and I’ll connect with the world around me again but this time I don’t want to struggle for days. This time, I want to snap the hell out of it.
I looked in the mirror, at my wrinkles and my scars, at the dark circles under my eyes and I said,
“Snap the fuck out of it Jo. You have a perfect life.”
Because I do. I have a perfect life. But running a perfect life is quite a feat.
It takes schedules and shopping and two jobs and finding lost shoes and waxing my legs at night after the kids have gone to bed and missing lunches with friends and remembering birthdays and answering emails.
It takes developing an ability to connect with people quickly but meaningfully because there’s just no time for more. It takes laughs and smiles and slumping into a chair to drink a coffee you made an hour ago and forgot about.
Most weeks it all runs smoothly. The schedule is working, everyone is healthy and happy, the fridge is full, the bills are paid, we are reasonably well-rested and everything is sweet as.
It just takes the smallest thing to nudge us off track. My dad collapsing in the heat and going to hospital, my daughter having an allergic reaction, me melting down over a new work opportunity, a husband who is job hunting…
Here are the things I need to get done but haven’t had a chance to:
Get a proper hair cut
Organise my son’s birthday party
Redo our budget that is already showing some alarming holes
Make sure my other son has the things he needs for school
Clean out our cupboards
Organise a rubbish collection
Get my car cleaned
Have lunch with all the friends I haven’t had time to catch up with
Ring my stepson and make sure he received the Christmas gift I posted
Find Dad an electric cigarette so he can give up smoking and stop collapsing
Get a proper hair cut
Plant some tomatoes, zucchinis, anything in our garden
Order new padding and netting for our trampoline
Get a proper hair cut
Go to the dentist to get my tooth fixed, finally
Finish my book
Enrol in my uni subjects
Plead my case to be admitted into a restricted subject at uni
Get a proper hair cut
Are you still with me?
I know this isn’t unusual. I know we all struggle with the schedules and requirements and demands. It’s especially demanding during school holidays when the kids are board and I just one ten minutes to relax. Funnily enough I don’t even get time to myself when I’m using the toilet.
I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I often joke to my brother that if I disappear for a couple of weeks I’ve just checked into a nearby hotel for a breather and to tell everyone I’ll be back, eventually.
“Snap the fuck out of it Jo. You have a perfect life.”
It’s not the perfect mantra, but it works for me!
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Opera.
I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
The design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon.
Cheers